Table of Contents

What to Look for in a Sympathy Basket

Comfort

Sending a sympathy basket is a way to express your condolences and provide comfort to someone in mourning. “If you would ordinarily attend the funeral, but are unable to do so, a gift is a way of letting the family know you care,” says Jodi R.R. Smith, etiquette expert, author and founder of Mannersmith.

Even if you do attend official arrangements, a sympathy gift is still appropriate since grieving doesn’t end after the funeral or memorial. Any outreach of comfort is usually much appreciated during the grieving process.

Reading: Best food to send to grieving family

When choosing a sympathy basket, look for items that hopefully will put a smile on someone’s face and be most comforting to the recipient. Everyone’s idea of comfort is different, so how can you personalize a sympathy gift? That brings us to our next point: Consider who you’re sending a sympathy basket to.

Personalization

Before you send a sympathy basket filled with food and drink, it’s a good idea to take stock of the recipient’s dietary preferences. If the recipient doesn’t drink alcohol, a wine basket probably won’t be well received. Likewise, if you’re sending a sympathy gift to someone following a vegan lifestyle, they won’t find much comfort in a basket of ice cream or cheese.

If you’re not sure of the mourner’s food preferences, consider sending a gift with more universally accepted items, such as fruit and nuts (unless they have a nut allergy). Jodi R.R. Smith points out that culture and religion can also offer some guidance as to what kind of gift to send. Some prefer food, while others prefer flowers. Don’t forget to check the obituary—it may offer additional guidance, such as a request for donations to a charitable organization in lieu of gifts.

Smith also notes that a personalized touch can bring extra comfort to those grieving. For example, a gift that includes a favorite snack or drink of the deceased may bring fond memories and help a family honor their loved one’s passing. Putting a bit of additional thought into selecting a sympathy gift can help those going through a difficult time feel that much more supported.

Perishability

If funeral or memorial arrangements require the recipient to travel, you might want to opt for a basket filled with non-perishables. You wouldn’t want your gift to arrive while they’re out of town and spoil on their doorstep. If you really want to send a gift that includes perishable items, like fruit or cheese, you can hold off on sending the gift or ship it to yourself and deliver it in person when you know the recipient is home.

You may also want to consider the season if you’re sending a gift that includes chocolate. Warm temperatures could result in a mess of melted chocolate if it’s in transit or on a doorstep for too long.

Presentation

Even gifts designed to comfort should be beautifully presented. Check reviews to ensure the sympathy basket you select is well-packaged and holds up during transport. Customer photos, if available, can give you an idea of what the quality and presentation looks like.

Shipping and Delivery

You’ll want to check the processing and shipping time before ordering a sympathy basket. This is important if you want something delivered the same week you order. Most gift baskets ship within several business days, and some retailers allow you to select your preferred delivery date, but every once in a while, something becomes backordered or is subject to shipping delays. This is very common during the winter holiday season.

FAQs

We spoke with Jill Cohen, CT, a New-York based family grief counselor, to clarify etiquette around sympathy gifts.

How do you express sympathy?

If it is a work colleague whom you are sending a sympathy basket, try to stick to basics since you may not know them or their family well enough to know their tastes. Consider a fruit basket, a platter of sandwiches, or maybe cupcakes if kids are in the house. An assortment of teas or coffees can also be nice.

For a family member or friend, be specific and personalized since you know their tastes. Send a basket of their favorite things. You can also add a comfort item, like a miniature stuffed animal, throw blanket, attractive blank journal, photo frame, a gift certificate for a massage, or something special. Another thoughtful gift is a certificate to a restaurant that delivers. This will be appreciated, especially sometime down the road when the food gifts are all used up.

What should or shouldn’t you write on a sympathy card?

If you know the person well, share a story about the deceased that will make them come alive in memory. Write about the person’s character traits that you admired. Offer support. Remind the griever that you want to help in whatever way you can, and let them know that they are not alone.

Don’t write, “I know how you feel.” You don’t know how they feel because every grief is unique. Instead, you can write, “I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now. I’m thinking of you.”

What types of food and other items are most helpful?

If you’re sending a food basket, consider fruit or other items. Grievers usually get overwhelmed with baskets of goodies, like cakes, cookies, and chocolates, that they end up giving away because they can’t eat it all. Perishables can spoil if not eaten, and sometimes proper storage is limited, too.

If there is a situation where people will be coming to the bereaved family’s home, consider sending over a case of club soda or an assortment of flavored waters or soft drinks. People have to remember to hydrate, especially in stressful times.

Is it okay to send money with a card as an expression of sympathy?

Only if it is clear that there is a need and if the family has mentioned financial difficulties in paying for the funeral and taking care of expenses in the future. It’s a sensitive topic, but you want to make sure the gesture will be well-received by the family and not cause embarrassment.

Should you send thank you cards to people who send sympathy cards and/or gifts?

Yes. Whenever possible, send a thank-you note to those who send gifts. If the response to death and the number of people was overwhelming, ask a friend or neighbor to help acknowledge the gifts.

When is a good time to send someone a sympathy basket?

You can send a sympathy basket at any time. Right away is fine, and so is later. You can even send something a few months later if necessary, with a note like, “Still thinking of you.”

Should I still send something if I know they’ve gotten a lot of other sympathy gifts?

The bottom line is that any gift will be considered thoughtful. No gift will be turned away. And, in case of overload, friends and neighbors will enjoy the leftovers. It’s the expression of sympathy that counts.

Why Trust The Spruce Eats?

Writer and professional eater Christine Clark is an avid sharer and enjoyer of all things delicious. Her love languages are food and gift-giving. She has a cheese podcast, a fridge that is always too full, and a very lived-in kitchen.

This roundup was updated by Sharon Lehman, RDN, a registered dietitian and writer for The Spruce Eats. She both loves to give and receive food- and cooking-themed gifts.

Through this article, we hope to help you understand Best food to send to grieving family

Source: https://www.thespruceeats.com/best-sympathy-baskets-5095022